tips for making your guest list with mary gibson the celebrant angel aberdeen humanist weddings aberdeen

Tips for making your wedding guest list

How to make tough decisions and create the perfect wedding guest list

Creating a wedding guest list can be challenging as it involves deciding who to invite and who not to invite to your special day.

Are you like me? A people-pleaser.

I hate to let people down and want to ensure everyone is cared for.

And if you’re planning your wedding guest list, this is when it becomes tough.

You don’t want people to think you don’t want them there, but your budget tells you otherwise.

Mum and Dad want their mates there; how do you say no? Sorry mum, we don’t have space for them.

So how do you get your wedding guest list right?

No matter how you do it, you can only afford to have some people there due to budget, the venue size or if you’ve gone for a small intimate wedding.

So it’s something that you can’t put off; it has to be done.

Let’s have a look at what you need to look at when deciding on your wedding guest list.

Getting your wedding guest list is always going to be a difficult experience.

The size of the wedding

One of the first things you need to decide is how big your wedding is going to be.

Are you going small and intimate or having a sizeable wedding?

If you know that already it might make it a bit easier to choose who makes the wedding guest list.

how to make a wedding guest list with the celebrant angel aberdeen humanist weddings aberdeen

A priority list

Sit together one evening or a weekend and decide who MUST be on your invitation lists, such as immediate family, close relatives and your closest friends.

Those people are most important to you and your partner.

These are your top guests, the must-haves.

A good tip I’ve seen work has been A and B lists.

Deal with the A list first and see who replies, “wouldn’t miss it for the world” If someone comes back saying “no thanks”, then take someone from your B list and send them their invitation.

The Venue

Have you booked your venue yet? Do you know the capacity?

There will be a minimum and maximum that each venue holds, so that may impact the number of wedding guests you can have.

So if your venue holds 140 people, that’s 70 couples perhaps, and if you split that in 2, half for you and half for your partner, that’s 35 people each.

But remember you have to include you and your partner and your wedding party in those numbers as well.

Whats the criteria

Have you set a criteria on whos coming?

This is something else you need to discuss together and stick to.

Having a clear criteria will make it much easier to draft the first draft of the priority list.

So if you last spoke to any of your cousins over a year ago, do you leave them off the priority list?

What about the aunties and uncles? If you invite them, do you need to ask their family too?

Will you invite people you know but haven’t seen for years?

Are they an essential part of your life?

If not, don’t put them on your priority list; wait and see if you have any space left to add them.

Plus Ones

Do you give your single friends/family a plus one?

Again, this is a hard one because I wouldn’t like to go to a wedding on my own, but I also wouldn’t expect to take someone that the couple didn’t know either just for the sake of it,

That other space can be used for someone they know and want at their wedding.

You may decide to invite the plus ones of your friends or family if they have been together for a while, and not those that have just got together, but keep it consistent.

If you’re inviting evening guests, then the plus ones could come along in the evening, then no one is missing out.

Kids or no kids

Are you having children at the wedding?

This one is always a difficult decision to make as well.

Remember, the kids will count in your headcount too.

You can make it a kid-free wedding.

Some parents can get excited about having and day/night out without the kids.

But how do you tell them no kids?

I have a blog here that gives you a few ways of letting your wedding guests know it’s a kid-free zone that day.

Creating a wedding guest list can be a challenging task, but by considering your budget, venue capacity, relationships with guests, and communicating openly with your partner, you can create a guest list that aligns with your vision for your special day.

Remember that it’s your wedding; ultimately, the guest list should reflect your preferences and priorities.

And whilst this might feel harsh, remember this is your wedding day, not anyone else’s, and you get to decide whos coming.