Lifes to short to worry…

Why do we get nervous before the big day?

You have been preparing for this day for months.

It hasn’t just appeared on the calendar out of the blue. It’s finally here and happening.

It’s all you’ve talked about, read about and dreamed about for a long time, right down to the tiny details.

Getting married Is one of the biggest life events in a couple’s life. That’s why it is pretty standard for a couple to feel nervous.

Even if you’ve been living together before the wedding, the nerves can still kick in.

So remind yourself:-

how much you love your partner and

why you want to marry them

and hold those thoughts in your mind.

But there are ways to lessen the nerves.

So let’s look at some things you can put in place to help keep those wedding day nerves at bay, or at least lessen them.

On the day logistics

You’ll be glad to know that this is a job that you can delegate to one of the wedding party if you’re not a control freak like me.

This list can be emailed to the venue, so that’s an easy job for someone to do.

You will probably find that any wedding venue will have a specific room they use for the bride getting ready and will have all this stuff sorted, but best to check.

What time can you get into the rooms the day before?

Can you have more towels if needed?

Ask them if they can provide snacks for you, and give them an idea of what time to bring them in.

Do they have enough mirrors in the room you’re getting ready in? You will want a long-length mirror to see what you look like in your dress.

Are there enough hangers for you to hang your dress etc

Will there be enough seats in the room for everyone to sit down on? It’s gonna be a long day.

Can they provide bins for all your rubbish, like dress bags, boxes and makeup pads, to name a few things?

These are some of the things that we don’t even think about for the wedding day but are important.

Have these checked out a couple of weeks beforehand so that if they don’t have some of the above, you have time to organise them yourselves

Take some time out

During the final week, there are a few things that you can do to beat the pre-wedding day nerves.

Things such as treating yourselves to a couple’s massage.

Make a day of it and have lunch out too. No wedding talk is allowed though.

Get some gentle exercise; go for a brisk walk either the night before or, if you have allowed yourself time, go for a walk on the morning of the wedding—slow, gentle steps with slow, peaceful breaths.

Try and get a good night’s sleep the night before.

If you’re worried about getting to sleep, try a few tricks that usually help you unwind: a cup of chamomile tea, a relaxing bath, or burning some aromatherapy oils.

Ensure any last-minute details are either sorted out the day before the wedding or delegated to someone responsible to ensure they are done.

Tempting as it might be, avoid drinking too much alcohol during the preparations. Nothing wrong with a small glass of champagne while you have your hair and make-up done, but you don’t want to be rolling down the aisle and miss anything important because you’ve had too much to drink.

Surround yourself with calming and reassuring people.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Keeping a sense of perspective will help you relax and enjoy the process.

Focus on your OH as you walk down the aisle and throughout the ceremony – you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll forget about everyone else present.  

What if I cry?

Crying at your wedding is totally normal and a given.

Even I sometimes cry when I’m doing a ceremony.

And the truth is you don’t know what will make you cry, or if you will cry, so you may be worrying about nothing.

But some examples that make our couples cry are:-

seeing your OH,

the sight of all your guests watching you walking down the aisle.

your parent’s faces as they see you for the first time in your dress.

You’ve had a build-up over however many months you’ve been planning your wedding.

Stressing that you’ve done everything right and got all the little details in place.

Walking down the aisle will heighten every emotion in your body.

You will feel excited, petrified, and knackered, but also blissfully happy.

And that’s all normal.

So if you cry, you cry; it shows how emotional you feel for what you are about to do.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

The night before

Whilst your planning all the logistics of your wedding, one thing often overlooked is the logistics needed for you and your wedding party the night before.

You can delegate this job though; you have enough to be doing on the day.

The night before is when you should be chilling with your wedding party, not rushing around making sure everything is done.

So let’s look at what you can do the night before to beat the wedding day nerves.

There is a list here of things to take with you wherever you are staying the night before, be that the venue or mum and dads.

Check your list and make sure that you have everything packed.

Have a copy of your wedding timeline with you.

Layout everything you need for the morning – from your underwear to your jewellery.

Hang up your dress and veil, let all the creases drop out from being inside the garment bag.

If you are doing bridesmaids gifts, do them the night before; in all the rush tomorrow, you might not have the time to do them as you want.

A final run over the on the day to-do list. This will settle your mind once and for all.

On the day

If you’re worried about getting stressed, get organised; it can help to prevent wedding day nerves.

I know that being organised helps me if I’m in a stressful situation.

So let’s look at what you need to be doing on your actual wedding day.

Hopefully, when you planned your timeline for the day, you have given yourself plenty of time and didn’t cram everything in too tight timewise.

Being rushed is another thing that can bring on a bout of the wedding day nerves.

Have breakfast

Give yourself time to have a decent breakfast with your wedding party or family; there is nothing worse than people getting grumpy because they are hungry and you won’t have much time to eat later on.

I know it’s probably the last thing you want to think about, but you need to eat, you are going to need the energy.

It’s been known for brides to faint on their wedding day because they haven’t eaten and their blood sugar was too low.

Or worse still, your guests can hear your tummy rumbling at the altar.

Also, remember to drink plenty of water.

In the bridal prep room

Play some music.

Music has been proven to calm the nerves.

So why not get the wedding party to make up a playlist for getting ready.

Playing music is a personal choice; sometimes, there is so much noise in the room that you don’t need to add music to the din.

I love a good beat; it can get me in the right mood.

 Delegate In The Room

There are a couple of jobs that you can delegate on the day at the venue too and don’t feel guilty about delegating.

Your wedding party will be delighted to do something to help you

One of your wedding party, to make sure the room you’re getting ready in stays clean and tidy? If you have a photographer with you in the morning, you don’t want wet towels showing up on the photos, do you?

Check with the hotel staff if they will bring up your flowers?

Someone at the wedding party to have a list of your vendors and their contact numbers.

A timekeeper, someone to keep you to your timeline as best they can

Someone to keep any unnecessary visitors away from your room 

Hair and makeup

The only other thing you need to concentrate on on the day is your hair and makeup.

This is where it all starts to come together.

Everyone else can take on anything else that comes up.

You will most likely have had a trial run at hair and makeup long before your wedding day.

But talk to both the hairdresser and MUA before the day and make sure they understand

what you want,

what time you need them to be at the venue, and

that they know where the venue is.

Try not to spring any surprises with changes to your hair or makeup on the day.

Ensure that the MUA knows how many people she is doing at your party; she may need to take an extra pair of hands to make sure they meet your timeline.

Focus on you

Allow 2 hours in your timeline for YOUR make-up and hair.

If your wedding party is having the MUA do their makeup, then allow 30 mins each for them.

Set up a quieter corner for you to sit in while your makeup is done. A well-light area will help too.

If there is a window with a lovely view, you bag that spot; looking out into the countryside will help to keep you calm.

Don’t look in the mirror too often, let the MUA do their thing, and wait for the finished result.

Leave enough time to ensure everything is perfect for you before heading off to meet the O.H.

You don’t want to be going down the aisle unhappy with your hair or makeup.

If you allow an extra bit of time, then things can be changed if needed.

There should be no surprises if you’ve already had a trial run with the MUA and hairdresser.

What bridal items do I need to remember?

Whether you are staying at the venue or mum and dads the night before, you need to make sure you have many things with you.

This is when a checklist comes in handy. I’ve covered a few of the essential items here, but get yourself a pad and write down things as you go along.

That first look

Is it the first sight of your OH that’s making you feel nervous?

Walking down the aisle is probably one of the most nerve-wracking moments of your life, never mind the day.

What about doing a “first look” in private, just the 2 of you and your photographer (you don’t want to miss that particular moment).

Sometimes knowing you have already seen each other can ease the stress for you.

The downside of having ”the first look” means that you will need to be ready a little earlier than would be standard on a wedding day.

But if It helps with your nerves, then time doesn’t matter.

You also need to build that first look into your wedding timeline with your photographer at the planning stage.

A first look isn’t for every couple.  Some like to have the suspense of seeing their partner from the top of the aisle.

It’s also something that you should decide between you if you want to go ahead with it. Don’t let anyone else influence you if a first look is what you want on your wedding day.  

Have I forgotten anything?

Thinking you might have forgotten something is a fear that every couple will go through during the last few days before their wedding.

And that’s normal.

You have been juggling so many different aspects of planning a wedding over the last year or so, and now you have nothing to do; the day has arrived.

It will feel alien to you not to have a list of things that still need doing.

Your mind will be thinking, hell girl; we’ve surely gotta be organising something today.

And that’s when the “Am I forgetting something” feeling will kick in.

That’s normal.

The only to-do list you need today is all about you;

makeup,

hair,

photographer and

your OH.

You have planned for this day, kept notes of everything you have organised, paid all the deposits, and talked to all the vendors in detail about how you want your day to go.

Your vendors are ready to do what you’ve hired them to do.

Venues and vendors are professionals and make a living carrying out weddings. There is nothing that they won’t have seen before.

So leave all the details to them now; you’re in safe hands.

Let that worry of forgetting something go and concentrate on marrying the love of your life.

Whether you forget something or not (and who’s going to notice), your wedding will still go ahead, and you will be married to the love of your life.

And that’s what’s most important that day.  

What about the weather?

Every couple would love to have the perfect weather on their wedding day, but living in the UK, especially Scotland is not always a given.

No matter what day, week or month of the year you choose.

Here is the thing: you can control many things when planning your wedding, but you can’t plan for the weather.

Yes, you can choose a summer month and hope for the summer weather. But we do get rain in the summer too?

There are so many other things to focus on, so don’t sweat the small stuff and worry about the weather.

Have A Weather Back Up Plan

But there are some things to consider as you plan your wedding day that might take away some of your stress about the weather.

And that is if you have a bad weather backup plan.

You should have backup weather plans if it’s too hot, as well as wet or cold.

umbrellas,
blankets for your guests, and
the right footwear
someone to walk beside you carrying a brolly to keep you dry walking up the aisle.
cool drinks
shaded areas if it’s hot –
check out the blog here on how to keep your guests cool at a summer wedding.

Have you talked to your venue about how they can help with a bad weather backup plan if your having an outdoor ceremony?

can you move indoors if the rain or wind is horrendous?
is there a more secluded spot outside with some shelter?

I don’t think I’ve been to a wedding ruined by the weather… it’s part of living in the UK, something we must make plans for, just in case.

The day is about marrying your favourite person, having fun, and making memories.

It doesn’t need to be sunny to accomplish those things.

My last tip on the weather front would be not to check the weather predictions too often that week; you know how quickly it all changes, so no point in worrying until at least the day before. 

The wedding ceremony

Sometimes the thought of the actual ceremony can give you BIG wedding day nerves.

If you using a registrar for your wedding, it won’t be so clear about what’s coming, what they will say, ask you to repeat, etc.

But using a wedding celebrant removes those nerves to some degree, as you have full sight of your wedding script that I will have written for you.

You will know exactly what to say and exactly what you have to do as we will have talked through everything before the big day.

If you choose to make Vows during your ceremony, you will have a copy to practice with.

You will know where to stand during the ceremony.

If you include readings in your wedding ceremony, you will know when they happen, and if you are using any Symbolic Rituals, we will have practised those before the day, so you know where they fit in to.

So leave any worrying about the wedding ceremony behind. I’ve got your back on that one, and I’ll guide you through it all.

Don’t worry about time if you’re running a little late. Wedding Celebrants aren’t tied to timelines the same as a Registrar or a Church, so being 15-20 mins late isn’t a problem for us.

We’ll be there waiting for you when you’re ready.

And your ready!

Hair done – check
Make up done – check
Dress on – check

You may find that once that’s all done and your dress is on, the nerves will fade, but this is also where the tears may come.

Make sure you’ve got the water proof mascara on!

Don’t think about what can go wrong today, think about the amazing things you have planned for today.

And all the family and friends you are going to be sharing your day with.

Check-in with the bridesmaids, how are they feeling, are they nervous?

A good tip right before you all head of is to set aside 5 mins and do some deep breathing.

And DON’T panic if things aren’t your 100%; when is anything ever 100% perfect, and whos going to know?

here are lots of things we can put in place to help alleviate wedding day nerves, and sometimes they work.

But for many brides, the wedding day nerves are part of the excitement too. 

So as long as you have gone through everything with a fine-tooth comb, packed everything you need, then rest assured all your vendors will do everything they can to make your day go exactly how you want it to go.

Hopefully, these tips have helped to put you at ease a bit about wedding day nerves. 

Is there anything that I’ve missed that you could add to help other brides?